After 40 days of lent–preparing, praying, fasting, giving–we’ve arrived at Eastertide. We celebrate Jesus’ resurrection on a bright Sunday after a dark Good Friday; but what if life doesn’t feel so good? What do we do with the turmoil of emotions inside of us begging to be released? This year, I feel the shock, ache, questions, restlessness, and pain that follows death as I continue to grieve my mom’s passing two months ago. While I know she has reunited with Christ and gets to celebrate with Him, family, friends, and angels this Easter, those of us who are left here have to experience the bittersweetness of another holiday without her.

As I considered what to write for this Word in The Wings, I couldn’t quite put what I was thinking and feeling into complete sentences, but instead images, words, and rhymes came to mind. So, I decided to run with a more poetic approach. I pray the Spirit dances with you as you read it and find your own connections. Life is rarely predictable and orderly, but maybe that helps us to ride the waves to rhythms of grace.

“You Choose”

Christ Jesus

God with us

The head of the body hung in the place of the skull

Crowned with thorny, holy irony, the king of the Jews

How is this good news?

Palms lifted

Cloaks lowered

Tables turned

Bread broken

Wine poured

Deserted places

Familiar faces

Kissed and lashed

All hope dashed

The table was set

Among enemies you met

Remove this cup

Yet 

Not my will

But yours be done

Through blood sweat

And tears

From eyes of 30 years

Water and wine mingled

And tingled

On the lips

Of the one

Who thirsted

This is my blood

Forgiveness of sins

That slaughtered the lamb

They know not what

They are doing

And that was his plan

Heart beaten

With stone

Rejected

Cast

Sealed

Removed

Replaced with flesh

In what seems like a cage

But instead is protection

Of the vital organs

That keep us breathing and beating

Life for the dead

Would a gracious father give us 

Stone when asked for bread?

This word became flesh

As we are

Left on earth

Raised with him

This is my body

Man does not live on bread alone

He chose this

In remembrance of me

So I could do this

In remembrance of him

Temporary loss

For eternal gain

Must be worth the cost and pain

To prove he reigns

Emptying himself

To fill

To free

Us, empty vessels

To empty tombs

From wombs

To new birth

On earth

As it is in heaven

My sisters and brethren

The greatest lift

After a graveyard shift

To Mary

Me, coming to the grave

Shepherd calling my name, making me brave

With trembling

Shouting peace

He walked

Weren’t our hearts burning 

Our yearning 

Returning 

To him

What now?

My will feels so thin

Yet you came to win

While all we could see was our sin

And that’s how it begins

You use

What I never would choose

To lose

Your life for mine

Oh love divine

To raise

What endless days of praise

Your ways

Are higher than mine